Broken

I’m just as broken as you.

You shouldn’t be surprised by that statement.

I think there’s a perception that just because someone writes about their life, they have their life in order.  I don’t know about any one else, but I certainly know that is not the case with me.  I still eat ice cream when I shouldn’t, eat chocolate Pop-Tarts in the middle of the day, and indulge my secret obsession with pretzels much more than I should.  I would be crazy, a liar, or both to say I wasn’t this crippled machine that struggles daily with all the things everyone else does.

And I’m totally okay with that because I know this is all a process.  Hell, this might all be a process for the rest of my life.  I’m almost a year and a half into this concerted take-responsibility-for-my-life-eat-better-paleo-primal thing.  I’m doing much better than I ever did and I’m maintaining a weight in the low 170s for the first time since high school but I know that perfection is probably not attainable.  Or if it is, it is still in far off land that I need to journey a bit more towards.  Perhaps someday I will get out of bed, only drink one cup of coffee, eat only the things I should, stop being a selfish bastard sometimes, and otherwise be a model citizen.  But until that glorious day comes I will still struggle with the aspirations, heartaches, and physical and psychological baggage 37 years on the planet have left me with.  Don’t get me wrong, the ship is turning around.  It’s just that if the Titanic could turn on a dime, our history would be a lot different today.

Just remember that all of this is process.  You probably won’t wake up today to grass-fed beef, a sunny disposition, or the body you want.  If you do, you’ve got most of us beat.  Otherwise, be strong enough to put in the work that needs to be done today and don’t tear yourself down when the chocolate Pop-Tarts win.

This time.

The war?  The war may never end for you.  I don’t think it will ever end for me.  But a war is made up of battles and it’s how we acquit ourselves in those battles that makes the heros.  I plan on being a hero today.

How about you?

(Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s